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KSG barman Wendewende was feeling tired and dizzy because of a heavy hangover that resulted from an equally heavy drinking binge the previous night. The alcohol vendor just wanted his peace and quiet. But that was not possible with Judge Chimwamasana and other patrons speaking on top of their voices like a Standard One class.
No one could blame them, they were having a postmortem on the joint prayers held recently at Njamba Freedom Park in Blantyre. Churches are fond of holding common prayers these days. The habit began before the general elections when churches would come together to ask God to give the country a good leader. Of course, apart from imploring the Almighty, the clergy who led such joint prayers, had their own earthly choices of who was most qualified for that job. In essence, it was these choices that our frocked leaders wanted God to endorse.
This particular set of prayers, which was under discussion at KSG, included political party leaders, among them UDF chair Bakili Muluzi and President Bingu wa Mutharika. Some few notable presidents decided not to attend for reasons best known to themselves.
That aside, the KSG patrons, with Wangwiro of the Women’s Guild trying to steal the show, were puzzling over and at pains to dissect the sermons that were delivered by clergy from different denominations of the Christian faith.
This agenda was triggered by an issue that stood out like a sore thumb in the aftermath of the prayers. It was the way the clergy looked divided in how they viewed their own sermons in retrospect. One Catholic priest Father Edward Masauko, who chose to deliver his preaching without sugar coating, was being accused of having gone too far by fellow organisers. Mind you, these are the same clergymen who preach against corruption and go to Mutharika without the knowledge of their gullible followers to plead with the President to slow down in the fight against the same vice.
That got Chimwamasana thinking. His memories went back to his youth days when he used to see white priests with long beard riding into his village on a big BSA motorcycle. These priests at that tender age gave the impression of emitting Godly trust in their flock because they openly condemned bad practices and customs. Certainly, Father Masauko must have learnt from these old padres who stood for bare truth. That must have been why he was dancing the same step with his colleagues.
The judge was not a naive character, he also knew how much Christian practices had gone through a metamorphosis, making them questionable in the eyes of the faithful. These days, one hears of a gay bishop in America, a priest making love to a nun at an airport car park in broad daylight and reverends representing a whole synod receiving bribes from a presidential candidate immediately before the general elections.
To confess to wrongdoing, the reverends, who received bribes while pretending to quiz a presidential candidate on his policies, later asked their congregations to contribute money to help them give back to the generous candidate.
“What was funny was that the presidential candidate who palm-oiled the men of God came last when the reverends took a poll after assessing all five presidential candidates who included Mutharika, Justin Malewezi, John Tembo, Brown Mpinganjira and Gwanda Chakuamba. They claimed their poll indicated that Mutharika was last just to show that his money did not influence them in any way.
“But these reverends are clever, they did not indicate who came first simply because they were divided in their choices as well. So, for convenience and fearing a backlash from their flock, this most important information was kept under wraps. Certainly, a wise body of clergymen cannot just hold a poll and determine who came last without knowing who won the race. You cannot have number two without number one in a contest,” said Chimwamasana, looking exasperated before telling Wendewende to bring a round of Madeira.
“Now,” the judge said almost to himself, “we are witnessing another round of hypocrisy. Father Masauko is being blamed by his Njamba prayers colleagues as having gone overboard when he called certain politicians thieves and murderers. When will the clergy speak with one voice like the way they praise one God?”
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