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| Features |
| Sex workers worship God |
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by
Mzati Nkolokosa, 27 July 2004
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08:27:44
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Some issues and events of life can be perplexing. Why, for example, do men both single and married go out for sex workers?
Malawi is fast becoming a haven for sex trade of all types, that is, homosexuality and heterosexuality. Recent reports indicate that sex trade is increasing and it seems there isn’t much we are doing or we can do as a country.
Sex outside marriage is prohibited by most religous groups in Malawi. Yet, it appears, there is a growing demand for sex workers because the sex market is able to sustain increasing numbers of girls.
The past few days I have been attempting to determine answers to what exactly men look for in sex workers. And in the midst of that I discovered that sex workers, too, worship God. In fact they pray that their business should prosper and it appears sometimes the God they pray to answers favourably. Incredible, isn’t it?
It was surprising to me as well. But this is what they told me in a number of interviews.
The last of my sources was a commercial sex worker who stays at Chirimba, some hundred metres from the main road to Lunzu. She is mother of a 10 year old boy.
She is responsible for herself, her brother, 13, and her son. The three stay in a house with a living room, a bedroom, and a corner or an extension of some kind used as storeroom.
She is not necessarily beautiful. She doesn’t have strong elements of beauty. Which is why I started a conversation that raised two questions: Why do men, some married, come to you? What is it in you that isn’t in married women?
But I started with simple questions.
What happened to you to have a son before marriage? I asked.
“Ndinameza osatafuna [I blundered]....but I thank God I have a son. Some married people have no children,” she said.
What kind of beer do you like most? I asked.
I don’t take alcohol because my church forbids that, she puzzled me.
Really? I wondered and she smiled lightly.
As we talked my mind remembered that there are people worried with my articles on sex workers. Their concern is, of course, legitimate. Talking to prostitutes can be risky. No man can deny that. I heard about a Tanzanian sociology professor who used a participant observation method to determine why girls go into sex trade.
The professor ended up marrying one and no report came out of the study at all. I am mindful of that possibility and so very careful.
I recollected myself back into the conversation. You go to church? I asked.
Sometimes...yes... I am a Seventh Day Adventist, she said adding that she grew up at or near Malamulo Mission in Thyolo which I think is the headquarters of the church or one of the most important places of the church.
Next I met a sex worker who resides at Lunzu. She is a mother of one and her daughter stays at Bangwe with grandparents. It’s like the girl has gone out on employment and sends some kind of help to parents.
You go to church, don’t you? I put it to her.
Yes, I do, she said adding that she appreciates that God is protecting her from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Do you know your HIV status? I asked.
Yes, I do. The last time I went for a test was last week.
Where did you go for a test?
Why do you want to know? she fired back.
She told me that her name is still at one Anglican Church at Bangwe and that she still considers herself a church member.
Four of the girls or young women I talked to said they are Muslims. One said she goes to the mosque at least once a month but the two could not remember the last time they went to worship.
Yet they all agreed that God protects and helps them in their business which almost every sex worker knows is bad. And this, they are aware pretty well.
Three are Roman Catholics who, strangely, keep rosaries which they use for counting prayers as they are said.
“Most Sunday mornings I wake up tired so I don’t go to church,” said one of the girls adding: “Some people know what I do and they wouldn’t be comfortable to see me at church.”
The last of the 10 girls I sampled is a member of the CCAP Church. This one worships at St James in Zingwangwa. She spends most of her nights at Kamba, where exactly, I don’t know.
But why do men, even married men, go to sex workers?
“Secrecy,” said one. Sex workers, as I found out, shut mouths and that is what men like. “None of us [sex workers] will broadcast that I go out with so and so,” she added.
She further explained that men who want to maintain reputation, the best is to go out with prostitutes. “Going out with ordinary women can be disastrous,” said another sex worker from Chirimba.
She elaborated that any other woman is likely to ask for a permanent relationship which can be known to churches and spouses.
The second reason is the type of services offered by sex workers which, according to one, are not present in most marriages.
“Sex in marriage is dull,” one sex worker told me. She was married for four years, six months. She said sex workers know and take advantage of the weaknesses of married women.
She could be saying the truth because she has seen both lives, that is, marriage and commercial sex.
Thirdly some men simply want to be adventurous and social because tasting different types of things is regarded as real life among some groups. It is seen as giving meaning to life.
It is clear prostitution is not only within our neighbourhoods but also in our churches and mosques. Some young men might end up marrying sex workers. Why not if she goes to church anyway? |
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